My statement of the session falls at at turning point in my life and career. I want to examine this transition and let myself proceed as quickly as possible to the task at hand.

My greatest hope is to have a long life, to spend my spirit, to find somehow, through love, the communion of my soul. This is shrouded in mystery, feminine, a sacred marriage, something that is spoken of in all of the sacred realms. It may take me a number of years, and I hope that I have the strength and the joy to carry forward; and as an old man, perhaps, to look back and cast even greater joy onto the waters. The joy of the sage, the one who has worn himself away gradually, is not like the street fighter, not like a drunk, not like a damaged man (referring to Dylan Thomas). He is like one who has worked hard for his wisdom and knows that he can last.. that he can last as long as he wants to last. Thats very moving. That's very human.

The strongest beneficial qualities of MDMA for me were the following: 1) Enhanced presence of mind. 2) Stimulation of speech without loss of articulation. 3) No strong side effects to confuse or to distract cognition, logic, or continuity of thought. I certainly surprised myself, but all to the good. MDMA was discursive, labor intensive, and it examined with a sharp lucidity my emotions, and organized through memory and speech my many thoughts and perceptions, arranging them into a pattern.

I gained important insight into the history and development of my personality and character. Awareness, confidence, and self-assurance improved. The session provided me one of the best opportunities I have ever had for true self-examination. I felt refreshed, vigorous, alert, and happy to an unusual degree.

As a result of my session, my hopes and expectations were fulfilled, but it would also be fair to say that following the session I experienced a mild form of emotional inflation.

I discovered and understood with a positive and profound conviction that my identity and personality were intact. I had feared, I suppose, that I might find that I had been damaged in some irreversible way. I felt tremendous relief and joy when I learned otherwise.

Regarding other people I had a feeling of great loyalty. I realized that others, many others, had helped me along life's way. This feeling touched me very deeply. Regarding the world itself, I felt glad more than ever to be alive in this world, and I felt joyful, even euphoric.